It’s not easy when you’re negatively impacted by the machinations of a chronic narcissist, especially if that individual is your romantic partner, parent, child, relative, friend, coworker, or supervisor.
It’s not easy when you’re negatively impacted by the machinations of a chronic narcissist, especially if that individual is your romantic partner, parent, child, relative, friend, coworker, or supervisor.
How do you tell someone that he or she is behaving narcissistically?
Those affected by a narcissistic personality disorder are affected by a pathology that is characterized by a lack of empathy and a heightened sense of omnipotence. The narcissistic person, in fact, nurtures the deep conviction of being better than others. But what can we do to be able to understand whether or not we are dealing with such a person?
According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, narcissism can be detected by the presence of a few clear signs.
As mentioned above, a narcissistic person feels superior to others: because they have a sense of grandeur. The narcissist firmly believes that what he has achieved is unattainable and that his abilities are far superior to those of others, that he loves to always feel one step behind. The narcissist, in a sense, feels that he is special and irreplaceable: simply unique.
The narcissistic person is always worried, because he wants to achieve success: this is his great aspiration and no other. Get power and beauty.
Precisely because they believe they are special, narcissists feel entitled to be treated special. This is why they demand privileges and do not like criticism or wrongs. On the contrary, they only demand admiration from others. This is why they take pleasure in doing grandiose deeds: in order to be admired, from all points of view. And to impress.
In fact narcissists, strong in what they believe, always believe they are right, in everything they do or say. This is why they usually impose their ideas on others, without asking themselves whether what they say is right or not.
Narcissists also feel a deep envy towards those who are better than them in some respect. An envy that they manifest openly, but not always. Furthermore, they have a deep conviction that others envy them.
This is why narcissists usually take advantage of others to achieve their goals. They are manipulators of situations and people and act without thinking about the consequences. They are only interested in having everything under control and dominating others.
A clear and unequivocal characteristic to recognize a narcissist? His inability to put himself in other people’s shoes. In short, the narcissist is not an empathic person, since he is unable to identify with the needs of others. And this leads him not only to be incapable of truly loving, but also to not feel any remorse or guilt, should he act wrongly.
The psychologist Stephen Johnson, in his book “How to Successfully Handle Narcissists”, seems to have indicated further useful signals, in order to be able to recognize a narcissistic personality.
Narcissists are also very charismatic, and it is thanks to this ability that they manage to attract whoever they want. Obviously, they attract others only for their own benefit: to be gratified in turn, and they succeed by making the other feel special, but once interest is lost, they are ready to knock him off the pedestal on which they have placed him. without any kind of scruple.
When you have a confrontation with a narcissist, in reality, you are not in the presence of a real dialogue. Of a real conversation. This is because the narcissist loves to always and only talk about himself, without giving the other the opportunity to dialogue. In short, if you find yourself talking to someone who hardly gives you the floor, it is likely that you are dealing with a narcissist. Same thing if you are constantly interrupted by someone who wants to draw attention back to himself.
The narcissist has no problem speaking his mind and certainly does so in contemptuous tones. This always derives from the fact that he believes he is the best and therefore he feels he has the right to despise others, regardless of what other people’s respect or sensitivity is. On the other hand, we said it before: one of the characteristics of the narcissist is precisely the lack of empathy.
In short, dealing with a narcissistic person can be detrimental, as it can lead us to experience dysfunctional relationships or relationships. What to do if we realize we are dealing with a person with these characteristics?
Well, surely the answer depends a lot on the role that this person plays in our life. If she is a friend or relative of ours, we can limit ourselves to listening to what they say without “demanding” that they listen to us, since they are incapable of doing so.
In short, accept them for who they are, definitely not trusting their advice. If, on the other hand, it is our boyfriend who presents these characteristics, we need to understand how much this causes us psychological damage: this can also be done thanks to the support of a professional, who could give useful advice, in order to better manage the relationship with this person.
