How many times have you looked at the strengths of others and compared them to your weaknesses, (obviously) coming out as a loser? But – think about it for a moment – do you think that’s a fair comparison? Exactly, the answer is “no”. How to stop comparing yourself to others? This will help you greatly find your happiness.

It’s actually the first step to fall into the tunnel of unhappiness, which leads you to have less and less confidence in yourself and never consider yourself “enough”. Maybe stopping comparing yourself to others would be a great starting point to start looking at what’s good about you. It is important if you really want to be happy.

The grass is greenier on the other side

You’ve heard this saying a million times, you’ve probably laughed about it too. Yet when you think about it, it’s not so fun to believe that others are always better than us, that they are luckier. More “everything”, in short. On what basis can you say such a thing? On appearance? On hearsay? Assumptions that are – let me tell you – one worse than the other.

The comparison can be deeply non-sense

It’s important to stop constantly comparing yourself to others because doing so can have more negative effects on your life than you imagine. It’s like condemning yourself to an existence of frustration, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and let’s admit those are really terrible words. The moment you start the confrontation with someone in your mind a series of negative emotions are unleashed that will give you one and only result, every time: you come out as a loser.

Attention, we are not telling you that the comparison must always be stigmatized. Only that it should be constructive instead of pulverizing that shred of love towards yourself that is left in your heart. 

Looking at someone who has made it – from a sentimental or professional point of view, for example – should be a stimulus for you to work harder to achieve your goals, the decisive push to tell yourself that you can do it (and you will make it)! The fact that someone has been successful or accomplished doesn’t automatically make you inferior.

What appears often does not correspond to reality

Stopping comparing yourself to others is a great way to start seeing things for what they really are. What appears often does not correspond to reality. But you can’t know that until you make an effort, at least for a moment, to fully understand a situation or even a person. Are you absolutely sure that they are happy, healthy and everything is fine with them? Obviously not.

People are such complex and deep universes that it is practically impossible to get to know someone fully. It happens with friends who have been orbiting our lives for years, let alone applying the same concept to someone whose name we don’t even know!

“Success” is very subjective

In addition to the fact that the concept of “success” and “making it” in life is deeply toxic, we should also consider that we don’t all have the same tools, or even the same goals. What does this mean? First of all, the starting point matters a lot, someone is more privileged, someone is objectively disadvantaged – we all try to do our best with what we have. But even that “best” can change a lot from person to person.

For this reason, the important thing to do is to be clear about what makes us feel good, what we really want out of life, but also what can realistically be achieved, and therefore set achievable goals. You don’t necessarily need a villa with a garden to be happy. It might make much more sense to dedicate yourself to taking care of your small apartment and making it a welcoming and joyful place.

We often make these comparisons without even realizing it. It’s as if it were a natural instinct, so if you think about it, it’s not the result of “conscious” reasoning. And if we really want to be honest, we should admit that part of the blame for all this is attributable to the type of education we received as children. Because all of us, at least once, have been told to take an example from the super perfect classmate who was the teacher’s pet and always got higher grades. Oh yes, our battle with confrontation began in unsuspecting times and we didn’t even realize it.

Focus on the things you have

It is true that there are people who excel in some areas more than you, but in the same way you will surely have qualities and talents that others lack. And all this is not a boast or a fault, mind you. Simply, each of us is different from the other and carries his very personal baggage of experience on his shoulders and in his heart. That’s why it makes sense to stop comparing yourself to others.

Instead of mortifying yourself that you’re not good enough, focus on your strengths. Then take your weaknesses and yes, pamper those too because deep down they are part of you and can often turn out to be more important than you think. Get to know yourself, get interested in yourself and start loving yourself a little more. Only in this way will you cultivate confidence in yourself and in your abilities. And know that this is the real secret of success (water in your mouth!).